"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Blessings!

As this wonderful Thanksgiving day went by, I couldn't help but keep thinking about how blessed my family is and how thankful I am to the Lord for all these blessings. I have so much to be thankful for that I could never blog enough about what the Lord has done for me. However, I feel it necessary to share as much as possible in order to give God the glory.

  • I am so thankful for salvation and how the Lord seems to draw me closer to him as each day passes. Lately, I have really been trying to read my bible more. As I was thinking about a way to blog about how the Lord saw me through a very difficult time with postpartum depression, he lead me to the book of Job. If you are unfamiliar with Job (like I was), he went through a terribly tough time after an extreme test of faith. Let me start by saying, I don't hold a candle to Job! He lost his oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants, camels, and children. Even after all of that, he continued to praise the Lord. As with Job, I questioned why the Lord had forsaken me in one of my darkest times. I was the saddest I had ever been and didn't understand why. I new that the Lord had blessed me with the second child that I had prayed so hard for, but during those months, I didn't feel very blessed. I felt guilty for not being happy, I felt guilty for crying all the time, I felt guilty for not wanting to leave the house or talk to friends, but most of all, I felt guilty for not "acting" thankful for the precious blessing the Lord had given me. Don't misunderstand - I loved my baby and took very good care of him but I just didn't understand why I couldn't act happy or be happy. I wondered what I had done to deserve all the sad feelings and I wondered why I felt so alone. I won't sugar coat things - that was the worst 3 months of my life and I thought no one understood how I was feeling. When I started feeling a little better and went to church for the first time in a few months, the preacher gave me a word. Mr. Tommy said that no one understood my feelings but the Lord says that He knows and that my faith will be strengthened and I will come through it with a testimony. I left that day feeling, for the first time in a while, that the Lord was still in control. Unlike Job, I did not stand firm and praise His name. Instead, I questioned why He had forsaken me. Looking back, I see why I went through such a difficult time and how my life has changed because of it. I can now say that I am thankful for that time and the person I have become because of it. I am thankful for His forgiveness and the boldness He has given me to even discuss those three months.
  • I am thankful for my husband who is so understanding of me and such a great daddy. I don't tell him enough how proud I am to be his wife. I have gone through quite a bit in 31 years that has shaped and molded me into who I am today. I know that the Lord allowed those things in order for me to be the wife and mother that He wants me to be. I am sure, from Craig's perspective, that isn't always a good thing. :) I know that I think very differently about things because of my past but he tries not to criticize and he loves me despite of it all. That is a really good feeling!!
  • I am thankful for my two wonderful blessings from God. Olivia Grace was truly a miracle after a long three years of praying. We learned that the Lord works on his time, not ours. Carter was our second blessing that also was provided in God's time. I am thankful for Olivia Grace's love of Jesus and her desire to please Him. I am thankful for Carter's "rough start". His difficult time has drawn me closer to the Lord. I am thankful for the blessings that He will provide my children in the future and the help he provides Craig and I everyday in raising them.
  • I am thankful for my grandparents. Without them, I cannot imagine where I would be today. My "granny" loves the Lord more than anyone I know and I thank the Lord everyday for allowing me to have someone like her to model myself after.
  • I am thankful for my in-laws who so graciously invited me into the family that I never had. Because of the Lord's grace and my grandmother's prayers, I have what I have always wanted - a family to belong to!
  • I am thankful for all the material blessings (house, car, clothes, etc.) that the Lord has provided. Without fail, we always have what we need and more. I am thankful for the blessings to come, even in this difficult economic time.
  • I am thankful for friends who were put in my life for a reason. Friends who love and pray for my family because they truly care.
  • Lastly, I am thankful for the Lord's grace and mercy and days like today when He provides time with family so that we can reflect on all that He has done for us!

1 comment:

rita and andy said...

What an awesome post! Thanks for sharing your heart!